The phrase ‘soul retrieval’ has become relatively well known in the sphere of energetic healing. This is the process of recovering lost energy or aspects of oneself, most commonly after a trauma has caused them to flee, or alternately, caused them to become scattered or frozen in time. What soul loss is, how it happens on various levels, and the ways it can affect us in everyday life are, perhaps, less understood. This month’s blogs will explore the meaning of soul loss and ways to address it, on your own, with the aid of plant and crystal allies, and with the support of a healer.
Soul loss is not at all uncommon. It happens to us all the time. From the healing tradition of Curanderismo comes the phrase Susto. This is one of the main Aires, or emotional winds, that are identified and treated with personalized ritual healing and herbal bathing techniques . Susto literally means ‘shock.’ It refers to the moments we experience in life that startle us, literally, out of our skins, and create a loss of soul. These instances can be both very serious and more benign. The most common form of soul loss, or Susto, is trauma. During a traumatic event, like an accident, when one is physically hurt, a violent attack, a sexual violation, a sudden loss, and other moments of terror and devastation, the most vulnerable and essential part of us, which we call soul, leaves the body for its own preservation. This dissociation allows us to endure the experience in a kind of survival mode. The fear, pain, rage, and other heavy emotions are held away from our immediate experience, until we are safe, and more ready to handle them. Ideally, at this time we would receive nurturing and support, and our soul part would then be able to return on its own, bringing with it the emotions that need to be processed and healed, as we recover. However, in many instances, this is not what happens. The pressured pace of life, and the values of American culture, which idealize the notion of picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and just moving on, encourage us to skip the tender work of acknowledging trauma and reconciling its emotional consequence. We often prioritize the outside aspects, tending to the physical hurt and the life disruption, but leaving the inner devastation to fester. And we may be able to go on, almost as normal, but if the trauma was significant, or if it was endured over time, such that the soul loss was ongoing and has become a familiar state, then it is not all of us that moves forward. In a sense, it’s as though we become frozen in time, with a significant part of our energy and mind still living in this difficult moment or period. While that part of us is held there, we cannot easily access the full pain of our trauma, but we will also not be able to access the emotions, talents, and impulses that belonged to who we were, just before the trauma occurred. To come back to these lost aspects of ourselves, we have to address the pain, fear, and needs of the part of us that left, and begin the work of healing and integrating our experience. When our trauma is severe, when we have lived in an unbalanced or dissociated state for a long time, and when we are still very guarded against feeling the uncomfortable emotions and memories related to this event, then it is likely we will need help to bring ourselves back home.
Soul loss can also happen in smaller ways. There are many moments when we become startled, overwhelmed, intensely emotional, or emotionally fatigued that can result in soul loss. The deep and illusive part of ourselves called soul craves experience, but its pace of absorbing and making meaning of this experience is slower than the mind or the body. Sometimes the body moves too fast for the soul, especially when aided by modern technologies, like airplane travel. Sometimes the startle of an alarm waking us from the depths of dreaming, can be enough to create a separation. The ongoing mental and emotional demands and pace of work can disconnect us from our deeper selves, particularly when working is a means to an end and not one’s ‘soul work,’ or when work requires an aspect of desensitization to an environment of crisis, toxicity, or danger. Vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue can create a sustained condition of soul loss, for example, often with somatic symptoms included. And, of course, dealing with consistent perceived threat and ever changing circumstances can lead to problems of this nature. When we add to this the bombardment of psychic intrusion from the news, advertisements, and other forms of media that provide a consistent hum of emotional pressure, it becomes clear how common it can be to feel only partially present in life.
The main problem with living in a state of soul loss, even on the less severe side of the spectrum, is that it means we are not working with our full capacity and attention. It is an unsafe state in which to move. Every day we make many simple decisions that can have dramatic effects on our lives and our safety, from driving a car to choosing a mate, from noticing or not noticing changes in our health, and the needs of our bodies and psyches, to navigating a changing world and giving our children the love and guidance they deserve. We need our energy fully with us, and our presence intact and alert, in order to avoid repeating the patterns of trauma, harm, and stress that bring us out of balance, and often limit our potential and affect our physical health.
So, what can we do to avoid falling into habitual soul loss and dissociation, or to address the more longstanding and serious instances of this in our lives? The first thing is to notice it, to begin to track ourselves. When we are not connected to our deepest selves and to our bodies, there will be signs. Numbness, in general, or in certain aspects of life, is one clear symptom. Emotional realms that we are unable to access, for example pervasive lack of self love, feelings of safety, or sexual desire are very telling. Areas in life where we try, but feel blocked from creating what we intend, can also be a strong clue, just as activities or talents in which we suddenly lose interest, or drive, and begin to avoid. Noticing when we drift away mentally, and what triggers this response is also very important. Once we identify in which ways we are not fully present, or not fully ourselves, we can begin the work of making relationship with the lost or overwhelmed soul parts. It might be a gradual process of listening to, inviting, nurturing, and honoring these parts of us again, showing them that we can hold them, value them, and handle the difficult emotions and memories they may carry. Of course, we also have to adjust the atmosphere of our lives to better accommodate our soul needs. It is hard work, but the rewards are satisfying and critical to our ability to thrive. And, when we can’t quite do it on our own, we can seek out someone to compassionately support us and give an energetic push.
This past year and a half has been a collective moment of Susto, but the fast pace in which many lived before also created the conditions for dissociation. In the months to come, there will likely be the need to tend to the soul, and meet the emotions that have been recently buried under survival mode. In the article to follow, the plant remedies and crystal allies that can support soul retrieval will be explored, along with ritual suggestions for supporting this inner process on your own. First, however, take a deep breath, and with the aid of your favorite divination or intuitive listening form, ask the following questions to see where you may have abandoned aspects of yourself and soul without intending to: What aspects of your life feel flat or numb? Where do you feel stagnant, or blocked from creating what you want in life? What interests, talents, or long held dreams have you recently abandoned? What part of yourself do you miss?
May you come home fully and sweetly, to yourself.
With love and solidarity,
the eleventh house
-This blog was written by Melusina Gomez. You can learn more about her work and healing practices at www.metzmecatl.com